


If You Love Me Let Me Go

by Incompetence (LyubovMoya)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 12:12:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8143576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyubovMoya/pseuds/Incompetence
Summary: Izaya is abusive, unbeknownst to him but all the same, nonetheless. He loses his everything and gradually lets his life spiral from his grasp.
It shouldn't matter anyways, right?





	

The last thing he could remember was the hand that was so viciously pressed against his windpipe and the taste of metal that hung thickly in the back of his throat. He couldn’t remember anything but the piercing ring in his ears as his vision faltered from the taller man looming above him, crushing his windpipe as he swore to end his life, to black. The moment had lasted hours to him. It was never ending agony that drew itself out like looking at a clock waiting for time to pass.

The anger that was mirrored in the blond’s eyes in that instant was gutwrentching. Normally, the depraved look would send chills down his spine and leave a pool of warmth in the pit of his stomach, but tonight, Izaya was simply mortified of the situation he found himself in. He was helpless at Shizuo’s grasp. His cunning was undoubtedly no match for this brute tonight and the other knew it all too well. 

Izaya began to thrash slightly, the lack of oxygen finally sending his body into a frenzied panic. The hand released him and he could faintly recall drywall hitting his head before his body collapsed to the floor. He recalled words screamed at him but they were incoherent now in his fuzzy memory.

 

Izaya found himself on the streets when he awoke. He was fully clothed, fur patches missing from his usually neatly groomed hood. Shaking his head, he sighed. Shizuo didn’t have any sort of decency, did he? He was dragged and thrown out… Izaya figured that he might as well have been a bum who snuck his way into Shizuo’s apartment rather than a former lover giving his all to get him back. Picking himself up, he rubbed his swollen neck, blooming purple flowers littering his ivory skin.

_‘How did we get here…? When did it go so wrong?’  
‘...’_

It was pathetic that those two innocent questions could’ve caused such a horrific uproar. You’d have thought that Izaya had questioned the insecure blond’s masculinity. Ah, if only it had been just that. He craned his head back as he walked, letting the fresh rain hit his face as he smirked in a melancholy way.

_‘Hey… just let me love you.’_

That was how Shizuo had confessed to him at three in the morning after a chase that resulted in Shizuo losing his balance. He was never the best at running, or walking for that matter. Hell, put him even remotely close to a wall and he’d hit his face damn near every time.

_‘..Very funny, Shizu-chan~’  
‘No, I’m serious…. Just.. Please be mine? I love you, so… Fuck, god dammit Izaya, this isn’t a fucking joke. Take me seriously, for once.’_

With wide eyes, Izaya had seemed to look through Shizuo and into the next realm. Why this sudden? Why now? Why him? There was no way that a man of his stature could be confessed to...and by a debt collector? Izaya was out of his league. 

_‘...Okay. I will. If you’re serious, if this is what you truly want, then okay.’_

He hadn’t expected to truly fall in love. He was Izaya Orihara, after all. He loved all humans with what he thought was equality. They were the same to him, and even as much as he hated to admit it, Shizuo was human. He knew that from the way the brute shuddered when Izaya ran his silver blade across bare abdominal muscles. They clenched and contorted in excitement when he softly broke the skin with the sharpened point of his pride.. Or the way a blush would flush across the stoic man’s face at the mention of how ‘cute’ he’d look with his bangs pinned back in barrettes..

What fondness.. They had been so perfect after that. Three years of bliss albeit followed by two years of crumbling madness that Izaya had been so desperately trying to cling to before it had led up to this: the end. Oh God, he had tried, and bled, and cried, and fought, and given his all to mending a relationship that he knew deep down was inevitably doomed.

Moreover, he was known to be human also by the way his temper would flare when Izaya mindlessly prodded his insecurities with stinging taunts.

_‘You’re a fucking prick,’ Shizuo spat, gathering a bag as his face flushed from hurt._

_‘For telling the truth? You’re not masculine enough. You’ve got these muscles and height and the body for it, but your personality is so profoundly feminine. Why on earth do you think you’ve never found anyone but me to love you?’_

_Shizuo halted in his tracks, spinning on his heel to get a closer look at Izaya._

_‘You think you’re it? You think you’re the only person who has ever or ever could love me? Shallow. I’ve been confessed to more times than you’ve been looked at in the entirety of your life. There are people who would treat me like a God if that’s what I wanted. I don’t need the Earth’s scum with a god-complex telling me that I’m unlovable or desperate. I’m staying with you out of love, not need, don’t confuse the two.’_

_The door slammed closed._

He had just wanted to stay with Shizuo . He had just wanted to spend the rest of his life with who he believed was the only person he could ever love. Izaya suddenly collided with someone, stumbling back to regain his balance before he looked at the perpetrator with a sneer.

“What the fu-”  
“Hm.. Long time no see, Orihara.”

**Author's Note:**

> https://makotobmp.tumblr.com
> 
> I start a lot of things that I don't finish.


End file.
